Ho. My. GOSH.
There were some really big happenings in this finale episode but to be honest, I have mixed feelings.
Let's get to it.
The residents of Bon Temps are reeling after the events at the Moon Goddess Emporium. We find our brujo-medium couple having breakfast the morning after.
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| A little eyesex before brekky. |
Unbeknownst to Jesus, Lafayette's body is now Marnie's playground.
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| What's for breakfast? Your hand! |
Marnie/Lafayette (Marnayette) then begins to torture Jesus, threatening to mutilate Lafayette's body if he doesn't give her his powers.
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| Nip-slip!!! |
Across town at another breakfast table—
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| Jesus, Tara. You look like a mental patient. |
Sookie hallucinates that Gran's dead body is laying on her kitchen floor (double-foreshadowing). Tara enters the kitchen and Sookie tells her that she has a creepy feeling that Gran is there. Their conversation soon switches to Sookie's hopes and dreams of growing old, sitting on the porch with her grandbabies. Tara commiserates, saying she hopes to grow old with her too.
Next door, at the cemetery:
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| I brought edible flowers... |
Sam Merlotte looks over Tommy Mickens' fresh grave and is later joined by Maxene Fortenberry. Both are saddened by the loss of young Tommy, exemplifying the age old saying: "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone". Maxene tells Sam to call her 'Mama', and goes on to say that they're the only family they've got. Lucky for Sam he also has:
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| One happy shape-shifting family. |
Later at Merlotte's:
Sam and Sookie finally see each other after what seems like forever and smooth things out between them. We also find out that it's Halloween.
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| It's the most wonderful time of the year! |
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| Holly Cleary: Pot-smoking-prostitute-fairie-princess. |
I think it was a bit clever to have Holly dress up as a fairy. The first person she bumps into is Sookie (part-fairy) and the last person we see her with is Andy Bellefleur (who just did a fairy).
I must say though, that the best costume award should go to this little girl:
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| "I'm eatin' for two." - Lisa Fowler as Janelle from Teen Mom II. |
As Sookie begins to get back into her waitressing, she is interrupted by a profession of love from this guy:
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| Great. Two vampires and now a werewolf, too... Whatta mess. |
Terry receives an unexpected visitor:
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| Terry's ex-platoon leader: Patrick Devins. |
More on Terry later.
Let's check in with Jason Stackhouse, he had a pretty interesting day as well.
The first item on Jason's to-do list is to pay Hoyt a visit and tell him everything that's been going on with Jessica.
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| Ka-POW!!! |
That went well... Later that evening Jason himself is paid a visit by:
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| Little Red Ride-your-Goods. |
And of course, this happens:
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| *Sigh* Just like in the fairy tales... |
During and after their little romp, Jason and Jessica discuss what exactly is going on between them, and where they see things going. It was cute. Both were sweet, Jess was sincere, and Jason was open, in his I'm-dumb-but-hot sort of charming way. After Jessica zooms out to feed, Jason hears a knock on the door to find:
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| Missing Reverend Steve Newlin: newly-minted vamp taking 'conversion' to a whole notha level. |
Across town, Tara pays Lafayette and Jesus a visit. She finds this:
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| Naturally. |
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| Betch, please. |
Fearing the worst, Tara drives off to Merlotte's to look for Sookie. She finds Sookie with Holly and tells them that she thinks Marnie is back and has taken possession of Lafayette.
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| To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar: starring Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo and Wesley Snipes. |
In an attempt to find Lafayette, Sookie calls her vamp friends, to no avail. They finally decide to check in on Bill and find this:
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| S, S, S, S, S, M, M, M, M!!! |
Somehow, Marnayette has managed to silver both Bill
and Eric. Holly comes up with a plan and goes about her business as the others try to distract Marnie with more time-wasting prattle.
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| La, la, la, la, la! Don't mind me, this isn't obvious or weird or anything... |
Marnayette gets pissed off though and does this:
Which pisses Sookie off, so Sookie does this:
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| SHAZAAM! |
Which in turn pisses Marnayette off even more, so he/she does this:
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| This is my angry face. |
Holly then instructs Sookie and Tara to join hands and repeat her incantations. A magical barrier soon appears shutting out Marnayette, and this happens in the cemetery:
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| Danse Macabre. |
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| I don't know why, but this is my favorite image from this episode. |
Holly's protection spell not only creates a magical barrier, but it invokes the spirits to help guard them against the spirit of Marnie. Antonia tries reasoning with Marnie, but Marnie refuses to cooperate. Then this happens:
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| How is it that every spirit knows exactly how to interact with the human world? |
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| FINISH HIM!!! |
Adele pulls Marnie out of Lafayette's body
—which was pretty awesome.
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| Why am I still wiiieeerd?! |
As Marnie and Lafayette are separated, the flame around Eric and Bill dies. After some encouraging words from Adele and Antonia, Marnie agrees to leave with them.
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| "Excuse me! We're feeling a little crispy up here," - Eric Northman. |
In order for the vamps to heal more quickly, Sookie offers her blood. Naturally.
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| You wanna do what now?! |
After their little fanged fiesta, Sookie informs her vampire gentlemen callers that she can no longer see
either of them.
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| Matching monogrammed robes. |
Needless to say, Sookie was in Wah-ville. Barf.
As the season finale comes to a close, let's take a peek at some of Bon Temps' residents' final scenes, and what could be in store for them in the future.
While taking out the garbage, Arlene gets a visit from this guy:
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| Why am I standing like this? |
Thinking the vision of Rene is a dream, Arlene tries to pinch herself awake.
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| OUCH! |
Rene tells her that he wasn't there to hurt her, he came to warn her. He tell her that the ghosts of Terry's pasts are hard to kill, and that they will return. He tells her to run.
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| In case you didn't hear me the first time, let me get my ghost on! |
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| Tonight! Tonight! |
As Sam says goodnight to Luna we see this little guy doing some stalking:
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| A sober Andy hugs it out with a fairy Holly. Very reminiscent of his recent romp in the woods. |
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| What am I doing with my life?! |
Alcide is called to one of his construction sites
—the same one where Russell Edgington was buried. He discovers a large whole in the concrete with broken silver chains scattered in and around it. Clearly, Russell's back.
Now to the big stuff:
Nan Flanagan and her "gay stormtroopers" pay Eric and Bill a visit.
She informs them that she is no longer employed (fired) by the Authority. Se also wishes to stage a mutiny and was hoping to have Bill and Eric join her side. Bill and Eric are hesitant which drives Nan to play her ace
—she knows what Sookie is. She threatens to make public Sookie's fairie ancestry which drives Eric and Bill to do this:
As if I couldn't be any more disappointed, they just had to get rid of Nan...
Over at Sookie's house:
After giving Bill and Eric her blood, and dumping them, Sookie goes home to find:
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| Debbie's got a gun. |
Debbie accuses Sookie of ruining her life. As Sookie backs away from Debbie, we see that Tara is in the other room and she notices that something is going on. Seeing Debbie and her gun, she pushes Sookie out of the way.
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| Tara does have brains after all... |
Somehow, Sookie manages to wrestle the gun from Debbie and pin her to the ground.
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| Bye Debbie! |
After realizing what's happened Sookie rushes to Tara's body and screams for help. Nobody comes.
~ FIN ~
Boy, this season was, well, kinda bad...
There were simply too many subplots. The season was so cluttered I felt like I was watching a bunch of spinoffs without them actually spinning off. Like there were too many unnecessary (uninteresting) storylines we could've done without (Portia Bellefleur, Werepanthers...).
I enjoyed True Blood more when the vampires were the focus of the show. Not only are there too many subplots, but there are also way too many supers. Gone is the novelty of watching a shocked Merlotte's crowd stare as one vampire enters the bar. Now there are shifters who have Werewolf daddies and fairies and witches who date gay mediums. Too much! Isn't kind of weird that a little backswamp town like Bon Temps is host to so many supernatural beings? And isn't it even weirder that the people of Bon Temps are cool with it?! More vampires please. It was cool when the stories of the other characters existed to supplement the vampire storyline, now they're competing and everyone loses.
I also felt like the writing was a bit lazy this season. Don't get me wrong, Pam still had her fair share of betchy one-liners, but the conflict resolutions were a bit too too convenient. There was a also a whole lot of talking about doing things instead of actually doing things. Like I was constantly in a state of hoping that things would get more exciting. They would get exciting, for like twenty seconds. Then it'd be back to more time-wasting and 'planning' and waiting and needless dialogue.
I'll still watch season 5. I'm hoping it gets better.
It if doesn't
—then True Blood will be truly dead in my book.
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