the rest is still unwritten

Friday, February 3, 2012

TV Show and Tell: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 4 PREMIERE

Well bless my lucky stars and garters. I done and found the RPDR premiere online!!!

In my desperation to get my hands on anything season four, I marshmallow kid-ded out and read recap blogs on the premiere.

Note to self: Patience is a virtue!

Some of the excitement (a very small bit) was lost while watching the premiere because I already knew what was coming. Besides, there were some things that I read that I don't really agree with...

So yeah, no more of that in the future. I will wait to watch.

And now, let's get to it.

I'd like to present the premiere episode of RuPaul's Drag Race season 4:


The season kicks off with the usual montage of queens from seasons past (including the winners, BeBe, Tyra and Raja) voiced-over by Miss Ru.


The montage ends with teaser footage of what this season will bring.

After the opening and title sequence, the different areas of the empty pink workroom flash onscreenand this can only mean one thing. It's time to bring in the queens!


Face isn't the fishiest, and her stank attitude (she is waaaay too cocky and talks a bit too much) takes away from her hot bod. Something tells me she's gonna be my Shangela *cringe* this season.

Lashauwn Beyond
Something about her face reminds me of Akashia from Season 1, but right now, I think I like Lashauwn. She is definitely more polished and I like the black and gold look.

Jiggly Caliente
Aww, I like Jiggly. She's like Katy Perry meets Kimora Lee meets Kathy Najimy (pre-weight loss). I love the way she talks and calls everyone 'Mama', 'Mom' or 'Ma'. And she really reminds me of JujuBee, another fave. Plus she's Asian.

Phi Phi O'Hara
My first impression of Phi Phi was neither good nor bad, she was a bit bland for me during the beginning. The only thing I noticed was that she overworked her mugtoo, too much, Huntyy! But as the episode progressed, that first impression did not last.

Madame LaQueer
Delta Work is in the house!

All smiles, Milan brings spunk and good vibes to the group. Her face is one part Jada Pinkett and one part Gregory Hines. I like her.

Alisa Summers
Lisa Rinna meets Rihanna. The resident TnA girl. Her look wasn't anything new, so she fell somewhere in the middle for me. I would confuse her for Phi Phi and vice versa. Alisa boasts of being one of the fishiest queens out there, but with this first look, I didn't buy it. She'll prove me wrong, though. ;)

DiDa Ritz
First Impression? BUS-TED. Her wig had about four hairs on it. "DiDa Ritz look a mess..." - Lashauwn. But her spunky easy-going attitude earned her points and elevated her from the bottom to somewhere in the middle of my list. It's ironic that Lashauwn should criticize her because I would often mistake the two...

The Princess
The Princess was a shocker. I expected her to be harsher and a bit aloof. Instead she came prancing in and was totally light and bubbly-like. I loved her Fall/Winter 2011 Gaultier meets Louis Vuitton look and paintvery cabaret Baroness Schraeder in the Alps. Loves it!

Kenya Michaels
F to the ISH. This doll is gorgeous! Tiny and gorgeous! And you know what's funny? She opens her mouth and I hear Yara Sofia from season 3. I really like her.

Chad Michaels
If you can get past the fillers and collagen, Chad Michaels is really gorgeous. One of the most polished queens, I admire her for accepting her age and dressing accordinglyas a MILF. Just because it's "age appropriate" does not mean it has to be dowdy. You go Mama!

Sharon Needles
Officially my favorite! There's something about her that I really love. When she speaks, I hear a bit of Tammie Brown, which I love. And I love how all the queens dissed her as she entered the work room the same way they did to Rajaand the betch done went and won the whole thing. I love that despite her spooky look, she exudes fun, openness and warmth. Did I mention that I love her?

Latrice Royale
Large and in charge. Big, black and beautiful. She exudes warmth and wisdom. I like her, but this first look was a miss for me.

Just like the previous season, some of the queens know (and are friends with) each other. It shows a sense of community and camaraderie.

Milan and Jiggly Caliente
DiDa Ritz and Phi Phi O'Hara
DiDa Ritz and Milan
Kenya Michaels and Madame LaQueer
Chad Michaels and Willam
Latrice Royale and Leshauwn Beyond
Latrice Royale and Alisa Summers

Now, that's all nice and good, but let's see how long before those warm and fuzzy feelings turn cold and all back-stabby...

And of course, what would RPDR be if the queens didn't read each other, too.
Phi Phi on Milan: "Broadway just hit our stagethat or they picked up a pimp off the street."
Lashauwn Beyond on DiDa Ritz: "DiDa Ritz look a mess...that dry-ass wig, and that awful-ass make-up..."
Chad Michaels: ''My first impression of Sharon Needles was: Wow. What a whackjob."

Well, sometimes they have something nice(?) to say. Right, Willam?
Willam on Kenya Michaels: "She's cute... F*CK... Kenya looks fishy. And I was like, Crap. Now I'm gonna have to be the funny one and not the pretty one."

Well, she was still talking about herself'cuz she's always talking in general, and this rubs some of the queens the wrong way. Right, queens?
Aww hell no you didn'.
"Kiss my ass."


Finally, the 13 queens have all arrived.

Then, a familiar siren rings:
You've got SheMAIL!

The SheMAIL brings warnings of desperate times, of plagues and unnatural disasters and the need for the queens to prove that they have what it takes to be the Next Drag Superstar.

As the queens ponder the SheMAIL, Ru, as himself, enters the workroom to welcome the grrrls.

After the greetings and a rundown of the prizes
The title of Next Drag Superstar
A lifetime supply of NYX cosmetics
A one-of-a-kind trip care of
To headline Logo's Drag Race Tour featuring Absolut Vodka cocktails
A cash prize of 100,000 USD
Ru begins counting the queens and notices that someone is missing.

Uh oh.

To the delight of the queens, Ru then calls for the pit crew
Shawn Morales you are soooo fine.
who, as we see, are wheeling in a large box... A box large enough to fit a short, loud-mouthed upstart boy in a dress... Sounds and looks familiar...

True enough:
Halleloo! I'm back b*tches!!!


The queens were not pleased either.

Luckily, it was all a joke.

Ru: "Pit Crew! Take this box out back, throw in a rabid honeybadger and set it on FIIIIREEEE!!!"

After Shangela is wheeled out, Ru then informs the girls that it is time for their photo challenge with photographer and Santino-Rice-stand-in, the hunky Mike Ruiz.

I must admit, of all four seasons, this is my least favorite shoot. The girls had to stand on a rotating disc while being sprayed by "toxic wastes" and deliver a fierce shot. Sadly, I felt that the distractions weren't nearly as obnoxiously disruptive as they could have been. Sure, most of the girls wobbled, some even fell
Wobbly Willam.
Jiggled off the edge.
Latrice takes a Royale tumble.
but my favorite shoot would still have to be the one from season 2. I mean, who could forget the queens posing on canons as industrial fans blew off their eyelashes?! Werq!

Also, as the shoot progresses, we also see the queens getting out of drag.

Let me tell you, some of those guys are cute!
Cute, right?! But this one's kind of a betch.

While some of the queens think otherwise...
Jiggly on The Princess: "I was like, dood, you look like a construction worker."
Jiggly on Latrice: "Latrice... She went from looking like Aretha Franklin to looking like Biggie Smalls."
Well, Jiggly thought otherwise...

Also, Spotted:
Philippine flag! Mabuhay! Must be Jiggly's

When all the queens are out of drag, the sexy pit crew come in to serve some delicious Absolut cocktails.

The girls are soon joined by Ru and Mike Ruiz and announce that despite having fallen off of the disc, the winner of the photoshoot challenge is:

Ru then tells the girls to prepare, because she has a surprise in store for them the next day.


Ru gathers the queens, dressed in their daytime drag, at an abandoned motel.

This is also when I notice just how fishy Alisa Summers actually is:
Totally serving trout. And how cute is Sharon Needles in the skeleton shirt?! Super cute.

Ru then informs the queens of their runway challenge: to construct a look that screams post-apocalyptic couture. Her instructions were that they were only allowed to use their own wigs, hair and shoes. The rest had to be looted. She then goes on to tell them that three only things are known to survive a nuclear explosion: cockroaches (much to Lashauwn Beyond's horror), Cher (much to Chad Michaels' delight), and Drag Queen Zombies (much to Sharon Needles' delight)!
I'm with ya Sharon! LOVE ZOMBIES!!!
 At that point, zombies emerge from the motel rooms' doors.
"May the best womanLIVE!"

The queens quickly scamper through the motel wasteland grabbing and yanking fabric and accessories from zombies who seemed reluctant to give up their items. They notice however, that some of those zombies look familiarcontestants from past cycles.
Venus D-Lite
Morgan McMichaels
Delta Work
Pandora Boxx

Despite the chaos, a bunch of the queens still managed to be funny.

Jiggly Caliente vs. Zombie
"B*tch! You's a crazy! I'm from New York, Motherf*cker!"

Sharon Needles was so funny during this challenge. She treated the challenge as if she were at a family reunion. One of my favorite quotes of hers:
"For a second I thought Chad Michaels was a zombie. Must be the Halloween mask of a face that she has."
And I LOVED her look.
Very Avril Lavigne meets Tim Burton!!!
She kept running around the place talking to the zombies.
"Sorry, girls!"
"Oh, HI!"
"I dig the look!"
"Honey, I'm on your side!"

And before you knew it, time was up and it was time to return to the workroom.

But not before Shangela wedges herself into the shotalbeit a shot of her being eaten by zombies and screaming "Halleloo"...
Aaah, if only...


The queens find a large box sitting in the middle of the workroom full of extra craft materials and supplies.

Naturally, thinking it was a box of attention, Willam jumps into the center of it.

The usual chaos that accompanies drag queens fighting over materials ensues.
Taffy tug of war.
Willam knocked on the head. HA

As the queens begin working on their outfits, we get to know the queens a little bit more.

Kenya Michaels is absolutely spunky and adorable.
Phi Phi on Kenya Michaels in a hard hat: "That looks like a little girl playing with her Daddy's tools."
She really does look like a girleven out of drag! Also, remember how I said that she reminds of Yara? Well, if Yara sings (yelps) in the workroom, then Kenya dances. Observe:

So cute!

We also learn that Jiggly has lost her mother and that both Latrice Royale and Alisa Summers have done some time.

Ru visits the queens to offer sage advice. The feedback is lighthearted and fun, but he still expressed his concerns on the outfits of The Princess, Lashauwn Beyond and Jiggly Caliente.

Before he leaves, he wishes the girls good luck and informs them that the extra special guest judge is going to be the Mistress of the Dark, Elvira, herself. Needless to say, Sharon Needles was very pleased.
High kicks!

And Needles is needless with one less 's'. Sorry, random...

Moving on.


On the mainstage, Ru steps out looking gorgeous as usual.

She then welcomes her fellow judges:

Guest judge:

and Extra Special Guest Judge:

Finally, it is time for the runway presentations:

"Gentlemen, start your engines! And may the best Woman win!"


Phi Phi O'Hara

Lashauwn Beyond

Chad Michaels

The Princess

Kenya Michaels

Latrice Royale

Alisa Summers


Jiggly Caliente

DiDa Ritz

Madame LaQueer

Sharon Needles


After all the runway presentations, the 13 queens gather on stage to await judgment.

Ru calls the following girls forward:
DiDa Ritz
Latrice Royale
Madame LaQueer
Phi Phi O'Hara
Chad Michaels

She tells these seven queens that they are safe, but she also orders them to make a more memorable impression next week.

Six queens remain, three of the best and three of the worst.

The top three are Lashauwn Beyond, Sharon Needles and The Princess.

Leaving Jiggly Caliente, Kenya Michaels and Alisa Summers in the bottom.

After deliberations, the judges announce that the winner of the first challenge is:
Sharon Needles!

Ru then announces that the bottom two queens are:
Jiggly Caliente and Alisa Summers

The two are asked to lip synch to Britney Spears' Toxic.

"The time has come, for you to lip synchFOR YOUR LIVES!"

Jiggly put on a high energy dance performance with splits and kicks. She throws off her jacket as bits and pieces of her costume fly off and fall onto the stage.
Jiggly lands into a split!

Alisa on the other hand, takes a more sensual route, with smaller more suggestive movements.
About to shoot fire.

As the other queens have predicted, Jiggly was deemed safe
Chanté, you stay!
and Alisa was eliminated:
Sashay away...


Well, wasn't that something!

I'm sorry if this post has been ridiculously long (and I'm not finished!), but it must have been the excitement of actually finding this episode online and the fact that I wanted to feature each girl that added to the length. I'll try and be a little bit more concise next time, and since the girls have already been introduced, the next post is bound to be shorter.

Now, as for what happened at judging...

I liked Alisa, and was kind of bummed to see her go. Her look was polished and any number of the safe queens could have been in her place for the reasons the judges put her there. Both Dida Ritz and Madame LaQueer (who I both liked) didn't strike as post-apocalyptic. They were more Animal Planet than End of the World.

Also, although I like the Princess and Lashauwn Beyond, I don't think either of them should have been in the top three. Lashauwn's outfit (although it was impressive) struck me more as a Miss Earth gown. And the Princess, lauded for her concept, but docked of points for her cleanlinessto me at leastwas no better than Kenya Michaels. They liked the concept and craftsmanship, but it wasn't post-apocalyptic. I would have put any of the following in the top: Chad Michaels, Phi Phi O'Hara, Milan or Latrice Royale.

Willam made wise prop choices. Without the busted umbrella and gas mask, she would have looked like an 80's quarterback-bride.

I think the queens could also have used the question and answer portion better, particularly Jiggly and the Princess.

Jiggly: "The reason I survived was because I'm a hoarder!" or "These are the wrappers from all the food I scavenged. Girl, gotta keep warm!"

The Princess: "The reason my clothes are clean is because I wash them. When you are surrounded by water, there's no excuse not to do your laundry."

Sharon Needles won that hands down. Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love her, but this challenge was sort of a no-brainer for her. It's so up her alley. I'm seriously hoping that she will be able to keep it up and glam it up (Sharon Needles style, of course) when the time comes.

Now, if only I can find Untucked online...

Next week: WTF!: World's Trashiest Fighters

And remember:

"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?! Can I get an Amen in here?! LET THE MUSIC PLAY!!!"

Images are screen grabs.

1 comment:

  1. OMG . i want a box of attention. that's the funniest thing i've heard today. serious. not being sarcastic (for once)