YouTube - Lifetrack lightbulb and More

Okay, so I am the master of MIA. But I'm here now.

So, I spent an inordinate amount of time on YouTube today. I created a YouTube account years ago, but never uploaded anything. A few weeks ago, one of my good friends posted a video on YouTube in support of the It Gets Better Project. It's a movement wherein adults from all walks of life create a video telling queer victims of teen bullying that it gets better. (Seriously, check it out) The numbers of queer teens who opt out (by this I mean commit suicide) is staggeringly high. One might see the project as a been-there-done-that/in-my-day kinda deal, but I'd like to think that it gives queer youth hope.

Anyway, a few weeks ago my friend made one, and I was inspired to tell my story. Over the last few weeks, when my mind was free, I would try and come up with exactly what I wanted to say. But it kept changing and I feared that writing out a script would take from the sincerity of it all and so I decided to just do it.

After running errands all day. I finally found a quiet little nook, sat down and was about to start recording. And then the webcam wouldn't cooperate, so after an hour and a half of finagling my webcam settings (unsuccessfully) I eventually downloaded a program that would record video. By the time I was all set up, my inspiration and enthusiasm was spent and my quiet little nook was no more. So the video is once again postponed...

After all the webcam shenanigans I decided to browse some of the "recommended for you" videos... I clicked on a short one from a 17-year-old kid who was telling people to stop the hate. And the comments this kid took were just appalling. It scares me how many close minded people there are in this world. It's terrifying; the kinds of things a person can say to another human being. Geez.

Years ago I filled up a Facebook Survey and one of the fields was goals in life. My answer was (and still is): To change the world one person at a time. Seeing all those comments... gah, I can't even put words together right now. I feel driven, inspired, anxious, excited and impatient all at once. I will fulfill my goal - I feel it in my bones.

On a lighter still YouTube-relevant note:

A few of my friends have talked me into the idea of posting videos of me singing... I've been toying with the idea and I think I may give it a try. You never know who'll be watching right? Haha (Charisse Pempengco send me your fortune) Finally I decided that yes, I will do it. And since I have a LifeTrack genre on this blog, wherein I talk about songs that I love and what they mean to me, then hey, why don't I sing a little something and post it as well? I'm actually kinda excited. They're all going to be songs I absolutely love listening to (and belting in the shower) anyway, so it'll be fun for me to do, and hopefully fun for you to watch/reminisce/listen to as well.

So 'tis all for now. Keep an eye and ear open.

Little Things.3

So today I was running errands around the city. While at the mall, I stepped out to take a quick sniggy break, and this pulled in:

YES. It's a lego-pimped ride. From a distance, you immediately notice the vibrant primaries against the typical black, sliver, grays of Manila traffic. It was such a refreshing sight. As it pulled away, i noticed that it was used by the Artwork Clothing Company (which caters to the young/kooky/hip/urban/quirky statement fashionista).

The giant word ARTWORK plastered on the side of the car made me smile, along with the car itself of course. Yes, the car was meant to publicize the Artwork brand, but the car itself is in itself artwork. It's a moving usable piece of art brought to the people to enjoy. It definitely made me smile.

Speaking of artwork... I still need to finish that piece... Til next time!

Family Ties

So... It's my brother's birthday today. And granted, I'm kinda tipsy, but you know how they say that drunk babble is sober truth... Well, here's some drunk babbling realizations:

You can't choose who you're family is, the same way your family can't choose the kind of people that joins it (biologically). No matter what shortcomings you may hold against people in your family, they're your family!They will always be there for you, and have your best interests at heart, even when you think they're fighting against you. Talk it out, hug it out and think it through. Use your words, the right words.

To my family, and countless friends I count as family:

With all my heart;
 Thank you, I'm sorry and most of all: I love you.

Let the Writing Begin

So, here I am sitting at a café, cigarette smoldering on a coffee grind ashtray, iced white chocolate mocha melting in the Manila heat, and Miley Cyrus blaring in my ears. As I bob my head, and type on Darla (my laptop), I suddenly realize: Wow I am such a cliché hahaha

I am reminded of the time in Sex and the City when Carrie goes to a nearby Starbucks to write her column, she begins to think that maybe she has held this stereotype of café typers unfairly. Maybe, she asks, maybe they all have just moved in with their significant others and have found that there is not enough space in their apartments for two people to go about their business in peace.

Well, that's not me. No significant other here, or at my house for that matter, but I do buy the not going about one's business in peace part. There are perks to sitting in a café half incognito. Yes, just half incognito.

I think even in a busy city, where everyone is so into their own thing, there is often curiosity about other people's "own things". I mean, how many times have we passed someone in a café and wondered what he or she was typing. A project proposal? A love letter? An apology? Suicide note? Pretentious blog entry? Eep.

Actually, I'm here trying to respond to letters and messages that people have written me in the three months that I've left Hamilton College, but I find myself just bobbing my head too much and singing along to Beyoncé 's Egooooo, people are starting to stare...

I know, I'm a bad friend for not responding, but here's why:

It's painful.

Every time I read a message or post from a friend from Americaland it's sooo bittersweet. The excitement and elation of any form of contact quickly fades as I am reminded of the distance between my friends (more like family) and I. So there. I've said (typed) it out loud. I'm not over the fact that I'm not in the US any more, but it's easier to bear now. And somehow, I can inch forward slowly. And yes, those letters will be answered. PROMISE.

Other things on my plate/mind:

1. Bailey's puppies are doing very well. You probs don't care haha

2. I think I'm about ready to venture out into the world again. I've pretty much been in hiding at home since I've been back in Manila.

3. Still working on the big painting. Will hopefully finish in the next few weeks.

4. I got an email a few days ago about someone trying to recruit me as a founding writer for their new website... See I'm not entirely sure whether they're serious... I checked out their website and it seems legit... But I'm sending the person an email anyway (first to determine whether it is a person and not a bot/ automated email to all the blogs on blogspot...) I'm actually quite thankful for this email because it got me thinking about a lot of things: what I want to write, why I want to write, who I am and what I want to do with my life.

Well, that's about it for now... I must admit, between the music in my ears, the people watching and the constant need to run to the bathroom (damn nico-ffeine) I find myself equally distracted at the café as I am at home... Plus I need to grab some groceries....But I do enjoy it. It's a different, constantly changing scene.

And yes, the writing has begun. Stay tuned!!!