TV Show and Tell: ANTM All-Stars Episode 3

Okay, now I'm really miffed.

Let's go...

So after Sheena's elimination from the previous episode (which I still don't agree with, I agree with it even less now), the girls reconvene in the car and congratulate Lisa for receiving that week's top photo.

Yeah, whateva betch...

Lisa begins to question her stability in the competition even after receiving the best photo of the week. She asks how it is possible for two of ANTM's biggest personalities—

—Party girl, Brittany—

—and saucy spicy Sheena—

—could be eliminated in the first two episodes of the 'All-Star' cycle. Believe me Lisa, a lot of us are wondering the same thing.

Later in the mansion, Allison tells Lisa that she's feeling a bit lonely and 'unnatural' in the house.

I a weeeirrdu. Meowff!

One of the reasons why she didn't feel like herself is because she hasn't drawn since she got there. I love her! Artistic weirdos unite!

The next day, the girls get another surprise visitor at the mansion—

Seriously...Who is this girl?!

Kristin Cavallari drops by to talk to the girls about her experiences as a reality tv star and the things that she's been doing since. The girls ask some pretty smart questions about longevity and 'branding' and public perceptions.

Now, I'm guessing her scope of influence doesn't really reach much of Asialand because I have no idea who this girl is. So she's been on the Hills?—A show I've never seen... but she was a guest on the third season of RuPaul's Drag Race and I was also all "Who is this girl?!" back then.

The next day, the girls successfully decipher the Tyra-Mail and prepare for and head out to their next challenge: an interview.

The girls are met by Nigel Barker and he tells them that they are on the set of Extra and that the challenge involves a group interview.

I see a bat in Nigel's cave! - Bianca

Nigel adds that the girls will be split up into two teams, and that the winning team will be safe from elimination. Oh and the person that will be interviewing them is Mario Lopez.

The teams were—

Both teams do moderately well. Nigel's critique after the challenge was basically just him telling the girls how to do better next time. Team 1 captain Lisa was reprimanded for being too rambunctious and speaking and acting over the other girls. Only Allison was praised completely for her interview.

Ultimately, Team 2 was deemed the winner which meant Shannon, Bre, Camille, Kayla, Bianca and Allison were safe from elimination; and placing Lisa, Alexandria, Angelea, Dominique, Laura and Isis on the chopping block—one of them is definitely going home. Allison was also the overall winner and received the extra prize of an exclusive interview with Mario Lopez.

Granted, with Lisa's constant interrupting, Team 1 probably did have more interview no-no's, but Team 2 was just SO boring. For me, I don't think Team 2 should've won. Think about it. Team 1 was a train wreck you could watch, Team 2 on the other hand... you'd probably change channels halfway through the first girl's interview... I dunno, Allison did really well for Team 2, but on the whole I think Team 1 was more "successful".


After the interview, the girls get into the car and drive back to the house. And Angelea lets the girls know exactly what she thinks about her critique from Nigel.

Nuh nuh nuh nuh NO!

The scene ends with Angelea saying "They want hood, I'ma give 'em hood at panel!" Foreshadowing much? Not quite.


Soon, the girls receive this TyraMail.

TYRA MAAAIIIILLLLL AAAAAAAAHHHH!!

The girls immediately try to figure out what they will have to be dealing with at their next shoot. Giraffes? Spiders? Or some other creepy crawly creature? Allison is hoping that they will be shooting with a creepy crawly creature. Some of the other girls, Bianca and Bre, are not happy.

Seriously, Bre, your whining's getting really old really fast...

All their guesses were wrong. Upon their arrival at the studio, the girls are welcomed by this:

STILTS! Totally cool!

The girls find out that they will be shooting on the stilts, and they will be shooting in pairs, one from the winning team and one from the losing team. They will be shot by photographer Sarah Silver, who also shot the vampire photos during Angelea's cycle.

Bianca is terrified of heights and has a minor breakdown. In the end, she gets on the stilts and as we'll see later takes a killer shot with partner Lisa. Other highlights from the shoot include:

Kayla takes a tumble. A lot of the girls have trouble finding their feet.

Bianca breaks down. Uh, what if she were peeing?

Mr. Jay asking Shannon if her wardrobe was acceptable. "It's a bathing suit, I checked," she says. Seriously, this dummy has to go. It's frickin' high cut and sheer...

Mr. Jay and photog Sarah Silver, commenting on Alexandria's performance, they weren't exactly amused.

After the shoot, the bottom six girls are worried while the six safe girls breathe a little easier.


At panel:

Twelve beautiful girls stand in front of me...

When Angelea's turn comes:

"WAIT!" - Angelea

She asks Nigel what he meant during his critique. He said that she was stiff and a bit too proper and that he just wished he saw more of her personality. He and Tyra advised her to just be herself, but also know when to reign it in when necessary. It's a balancing act. Remember how she said she was gonna give 'em hood? Well, she didn't she was all meek and mild.

Tyra also attempts to coin a new phrase.

Booty Tooch

It's funny, because they keep trying to play it off like "booty tooch" is a new word, when it fact Tyra has used it many times before—and it's usually not in a good way. I remember her criticizing the "sexy" girls in the past for making their pictures too sexy and not "fashion" because of the booty tooch.


Now, time for

FINAL PICTURES!!!

Safe: Bre | Unsafe: Laura

Safe: Camille | Unsafe: Isis

Unsafe: Angelea | Safe: Allison

Unsafe: Lisa | Safe: Bianca

Unsafe: Alexandria | Safe: Shannon

Unsafe: Dominique | Safe: Kayla

After deliberations, the girls are called back into the judging room and Tyra announces that she will go through the tops six girls' pictures first.

The order is as follows:

Safe Girls:
Top Photo: Allison
Runner up: Bianca
Shannon
Bre
Kayla
Camille

Unsafe Girls:
Alexandria
Lisa
Dominique


Leaving—

—Isis and Angelea—

—in the bottom two.

As Tyra addresses the two girls she says that the two girls before her did not have the two worst pictures of the week. Then the camera switches to:

Camille and Kayla, the two who should've been in the bottom. Although I'll admit, I didn't think Kayla's picture was bad at all.

Tyra then goes to justify with bullcrap why Isis and Angelea were in the bottom.

We're the bottom two? Yeah whateva...

Ultimately, Angelea was safe and Isis was sent home.

I don't get it.

With an "All-Star" cycle, one would think that star quality and personality would be extremely important with this ANTM go-round. But after seeing Brittany, Sheena, and now Isis eliminated, I highly doubt that that's the case. If three of the most 'brand-able' girls have left before some of the more, let's face it, boring and annoying ones, then I'm not sure I'm interested to see who's "gonna be on top"...

I was under the impression that the show's premise centered around the girls' own personal brands, not modeling per se. Yes, modeling is where it all started, but for this particular cycle, it wasn't the end-all, be-all.

Also, IF, the cycle still centered strictly on modeling, I still don't buy it.

Observe, exhibits A to D:

I mean, come on, even Camille looked interesting. Seriously, Tyra... You chose that!?

That makes me think that one of two things is true:
1. Sarah Silver is a bad photographer.
2. ANTM All-Stars has a secret agenda and that the winner was already decided even before filming began.
I seriously think it's the latter.

Now, I know how much "reality" actually goes on in reality shows, but this is blatant bullcrap.

I mean look at Isis (and even Camille) in the photos above.
Seriously?! Seriously.

I think what they should've done was to make the girls who were 'safe' 'unsafe' again. Because that would've been a true test of commitment. Instead, a girl who did not have the worst photo was sent home.

Before any of the girls were handed their photographs Tyra said, "You all are all-stars, you all have something extra special. Not just modeling talent, but interesting personalities as well".

Yeah, whatever Tyra. Tell that to Brittany, Sheena and Isis.

At the end of Episode 2's blog post, I said that I didn't know if I could take it if they sent another of my favorites home.

Well, one thing is for sure: I am definitely no longer invested in this cycle and its outcome.





Suggested Reading:
For Isis' blog post for People on her elimination episode, click here.
For her interview with BuddyTV, click here.
For her interview with WetpPaint, click here.

Recap images are screen grabs

Portfolio images from: http://www.buzzsugar.com/Americas-Next-Top-Model-All-Star-Pictures-Third-Episode-19255629