the rest is still unwritten

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Beginnings are full of excitement and anxiety. It might be the first stroke on a canvas, the first note of a song, the first beat in a dance, the first smile at a stranger or the first word of a sentence. This blog is no different. This blog has been set up for a couple of weeks now. And it's taken me that much time to compose a proper 'beginning'. So, Beginnings - question mark? Well, the only real beginning we have is birth. After that, a beginning is just an arbitrary point we choose on the continuum of our personal historical narrative. So here I go:

I begin this blog in a time of great confusion and anxiety. I was hoping to find myself sitting here, excited and overwhelmed by the possibilities of the 'real world' - a fresh grad - but through ugly and muddy workings, that has not happened. But not to fret, if you are looking for a blog of gloom and self-pity, then this will not be it.

Although this may be a time of uncertainty for me, I promise it won't be boring. This blog at times may be filled with cheesy hallmark optimism, but hopefully, it will provide an opportunity not only for myself, but you, dear reader, to look at the world differently. This blog will serve as journal, cookbook, portfolio and much more.

Unsure about what else to write, I leave you now with an entry from my actual journal, Carrie (I name just about everything I own):

" November 29, 2009

Mise en scène. In my experience, a journal is hard to start. Much harder to keep. Impossible to finish. But something in me knows that this one will be it. So much has already happened in my short-long span of 24 years that it's almost impossible to just pick a jumping off point. Hence, mise en scène. Characters come and go and come again. New faces, fresh faces, faces you wanna forget, faces you can't wait to see again. The plot? Who knows... It's a thread whose color and pattern I think I know, but the actual weaving sometimes frays leaving me desperate to connect the complex fibres. New threads, old threads, threads revisited, twists introduced, twist upon twist - FRAY. "

And so here we are... Our brave and beautiful hero(ine) typing away with RuPaul's Drag Race gagging on the eleganza and extravaganza in the background. The bitchy drag queen catfight providing a welcome distraction from the taxing exercise of mentally untangling these new threads. I must admit, the optimist in me is starting to believe that these threads are slicker and more manageable than I first thought.

Okay, I'm dropping the thread metaphor. I don't even sew... yet.

It's three in the morning and my own thoughts are now winding down as I surrender to Ru's queens and sleep. All I know is that tomorrow is a brand new day.

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