Does it matter? Because when all is said and done, there is only one clear winner—
Me.
I would like to take you on a categorized photo-tour of some of my favorite most charming and gorgeous pictures throughout the years.
May I also suggest to read to the bottom of the screen before scrolling in order to get the full effect of my hot sexy sexinessssss.
Let's go!
Since I'm a
Beet, the first category I would like to introduce is:
I. FOOD AND DRINK
Food and drinks are such an integral part of being a Beet. We're almost always eating, cooking, thinking or dreaming about food.
For the first sub-category:
I. i. See-Food
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| Bread. |
Clearly, the pictures above were posed. Sometimes, the photograph is candid, so I get caught in the act of eating sexily. Subcategory 2:
I. ii. Candid Yums!
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| Rice. |
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| Sushi. |
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| Chicken Tikka Masala. Double Yum! Note my perfect skin. |
Sometimes, there are candid shots of me drinking too.
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| Irish Car Bomb. |
Speaking of Irish Car Bombs, I would like to present the last subcategory under Food and Drinks.
I. iii. The Career Killer
aka. Whatta Lush.
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| All done! |
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| Tequila Rose. SPANK ME! |
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| My first time shotgunning a beer. Aaah, memories... |
Career Killers has three further subcategories:
I. iii. a. Drunk Dancing
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| Getting there. |
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| Almost there. |
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| There. |
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| Double Points for visible drink and ciggy. |
I. iii. b. Drunk Modelling
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| Model After Party. |
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| High Fashion. |
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| Killing the group shot. |
I. iii. c. the Dancing Drunk Model
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| I'm too sexy for my face. |
For non-alcohol related movement shots I now present to you:
II. ACTION SHOTS
Here's the first subcategory (and my personal favorite!):
II. i. the Blink
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| Blink x Chocolate - Double Whammy! |
II. i. a. the Wink.
II. ii. the Belt.
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| ♫ Don't Speeeaaaaaak! ♫ |
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| ♫ Til Noooow, I always got by on my oooooown!!! ♫ |
II. iii. the Swim.
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| Nyuuuuh! |
Now, what, you may ask is the opposite of an Action Shot? An Inaction Shot? Not quite:
III. THE SLUMBER
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| Here's lookin' at you, kid! |
IV. THE AWAKENING
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| Oh, Hello! I'm a morning person! =D |
I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Because I've always been photogenic. Observe:
V. AWKWARD TEENS
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| High school: Young and sexy. |
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| College. Still as fine! |
As my mind and faculties matured, so did my body. The next section is dedicated to my sexy sexy hot bod:
VI. BODY PARTS
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| Oh Hello! |
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| BAM! |
VI. i. Thighs
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| Right thigh. |
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| Left Thigh. My thighs steal the limelight. |
As every child becomes an adult, their bodies can go through certain changes. Hence:
VI. ii Preggers
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| 3 months. |
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| 6 months. |
Something else I love about my body—it comes with accessories!!!
VI. iii. Pit Stains
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| Subtle. |
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| IN YO FACE! |
Sometimes, I feel that despite my sexy bod and all its amazing accessories, I still need a little something extra to really bring out my sexiness. This leads us to the next category:
VII. PROPS
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| Poster. |
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| Poop. Fresh vs. Aged. |
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| Make-Up. |
It is also possible to use more than one prop in your picture.
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| Ring and Hat. |
Aaaaaaaand—It is also possible to use your environment as a prop.
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| Getting my Pocahontas on. ♫ Just around the riverbeeeeend! ♫ |
VII.i. Hair Extensions
Fun with discarded hair extensions!
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| Rihanna goes to Prom. |
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| HarajukuJeJe. |
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| Sheryl Cruz. |
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| Anna Luna/Matet. |
VII. ii. Food Props
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| Garlic Rice. |
Sometimes, I just go crazy with the props!
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| Crown. Sandwich. Underwear. Sexiness. |
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| Sandwich. Dirty Fingernails. Toy Rat. Win. |
VIII. COSTUMES
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| I misunderstood the invitation to an "Indian Dinner". I immediately thought attire, not food. |
VIII. i. The feetie series.
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| The Feeties. I'm on the left in the sky blue. Note: this was in college. |
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| SURPRISE! |
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| Say whut?! |
What do you get when you mix a college student, a tank top, a sweater, a bed sheet and a toy sword? This:
VIII. ii. durka durka durka
I put the ROAR in Terrorism. Too soon?
In order to bring a costume to its full potential one will need a:
IX. PERSONA
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| Lesbian Professor. |
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| Señora Lucretia Matapobre y Balagbag |
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| Slave. |
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| Witch. |
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| Helga. (Note the prop use: 2 scarves.) |
One of the basics that most models must master (which I obviously have), is to portray different emotions and expressions using their bodies and faces, sometimes without the use of a prop! So for the next category, we have:
X. STRIKE A POSE
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| Unimpressed. |
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| "You're an angry kitty!" |
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| Playful. |
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| Sad. |
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| Bored. |
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| Determined. |
My modelling coach was particularly impressed by how I can really open up my features.
If you feel like you've already mastered the basics of posing alone, I guess I could tell you some techniques for posing in a group. The first category is:
XI. THE CREEPER
Creepers are easy compared to the next group shot technique.
XII. THE CAMEO
Wasn't that the sexiest photo-tour you ever saw?!
Now that we've concluded the tour, I hope you realize that this has all been a big joke.
I don't have a modeling coach, I don't plan my pictures and I don't expect to win any Mizz Photogenic Awards anytime soon.
The things is people—men, women and everyone in between—tend to get upset when they see pictures of themselves where they "look bad".
I mean, come on. A picture is worth a thousand words, but that's just a small part of the story.
People have their off days. Bid Deal. People tend to blink, talk, chew, rest their arms against their bodies and move some flesh around. Big Deal. A picture captures an instant—one exact moment. It's only a matter of time before any one of the above instances (or combination of them) gets captured in a photograph.
I think the real issue isn't that you think you look bad in a picture. It's a matter of knowing, understanding, accepting and loving the body that you have. Once you've reached that point, it becomes a matter of "Haha, that picture's funny," instead of, "I'm so gross in that picture." It's the picture, not you, that's weird—you may look weird in the picture, but the you you stays the same.
Besides, if there is something about your body that you want to change, then by George, don't blame the picture. Get up and change it.
As for being silly—I think life is way too short to be taken too too seriously. Have some fun, lighten up a bit. When times get rough and you'll need a little cheering up, you'll be surprised at how good you'll feel after looking at a goofy picture of yourself just having a blast.
You know what I do think is silly? Those so-called career killers. I think it's kind of silly how employers (and other people in general) could judge you based on a bunch of photos. Most of our employers went to college. Which means they were college students once. Which means—I hope you get the picture. Most of our employers still get wasted anyway! It's kinda hypocritical... Besides, it's a picture of you having a drink and good times with friends; it's not like you're shoving a baby in a washing machine.
I understand that there are instances wherein photos could actually be incriminating. I can also understand that there are simply photos you'd rather not share, but on the whole, man, chill OUT! And stop being such Judge-y Judy's to each other. Pictures are physical visual memories—you can choose to untag, hide, forget or deny them—or you could cherish or learn from them.
To all the photographers, models, artists and celebrities who stumble upon my blog: Thank you for bringing more beauty into the world! (Because it's your job)
For the the regular Joe Schmoe's like me: Lighten up dood. (Because it's just a picture)
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| I don't even like taking pictures. I'm gonna go crawl under this table now. |
PS. One more reason I don't mind having "bad" pictures of myself: People get pleasantly surprised when they meet me in person.
<3
Thanks to my facebook friends for graciously and unknowingly lending me their glorious pictures.
Happy Face from: http://consolecentral.com.au/assets/images/Happyface.jpg
Sad Face From: https://socialpsychologyeye.wordpress.com/tag/facial-expressions/
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